So after years of being buried through life…I finally remastered and released my EP “Through The Years”, which are songs I’ve made throughout the years in one spot. And I’ll have a new single coming out on September 5th!
I will be releasing my “b-sides” ep next week called “Everything Else…” too. I’m putting everything out and working towards the future between life and its craziness. Listen/stream, share, below and use it in your social media.
So, I haven’t really told anyone but I’ve been working on a podcast. We recently got into the studio with a couple voice actors and finished recording the first episode.
I’ve always wanted to tell my stories, the stories in my head and share that imaginative part of me and now I can. It’s currently in post production to ensure the dialogue, sounds, narration, and other odds and ends are in check. I’ve set an October release date to give time for that work and more recording of future episodes.
This podcast has a scripted/drama form with each episode a story from different genres to keep things interesting and unique. From romance, dystopian, and general nonsense…it’ll be fun. Look out for it this summer. Here’s a little teaser to bite people in. I made all music for this as well.
So, lately I’ve been having these vivid dreams about a place I’ve never been. Being a writer I had the ability to describe in detail what I remember this place looking like. I set aside some time this weekend and put all of I remember into an AI platform.
To my surprise, it (he? 🙄) generated these images; which I individually created based on different prompts and descriptions. Here’s the images and a video I put together, edited & produced to show the world…this world.
I rewrote my poem “Free” and made a new video for it. It’s here below. This poem is about growing and healing.
I wrote this poem about changing, growing and overcoming the battle inside yourself.
I woke up in a daze…calm, alive. For the first time in my life, It’s quiet.
The inner critic and defeatist thoughts went silent, left in the wake of my last chapter.
I can still see the trail they left behind…like breadcrumbs I’ll never chase.
The early morning air of july, possesses a serene aura, its frequency matching mine
The wood floor sends a chill as I stand, I walk on eggshells, hoping to not destroy this moment
The mirror awakens as I come close, finally broadcasting the face of the man I can love
A cold splash of water to my face grounds me further, confirming my thoughts.
I’ve grown, the confidence, self love, and trust I’ve lacked for years has taken center stage
As I stare into my newest friend the mirror and myself, a tear of gratitude skis down my cheek.
The years play like a montage in my head, reminding me of how impossible this all seemed
But I’m here, the shackles are gone…that battle conquered.
A new battle comes tomorrow and every day…but I’ve already won the war. Victory, set me free.
I wrote this poem about the battle between light and darkness that happens inside of us, I’ve added a video below as well.
There’s a war raging on earth
Built inside each of us at birth
The darkness versus the light
The day engulfing the night
Our faith and love stride
Acting as a divine guide
Hostile forces pull us down
To destroy and burn the crown
But we will survive the fight
Ready to conquer the spite
With passion and integrity
The road ahead brings clarity
To endure together is the win
Against the constant battle of sin
We are one, stay grounded
It had been years since I went on a hike. I was married the last time I did, right before my divorce. I think subconsciously I avoided returning back because of the memories tied to it. This weekend I went on a trip with a few close friends and felt a weight was removed. The beauty and unworldly natural beauty was breathtaking; which reminded me of everything I had been missing. Not only from this old memory alone, but from everything in my life I unintentionally avoided. I feel this was an official reintroduction into a world where I finally feel I deserve to enjoy the greatest moments in life.
Above, I uploaded a montage I made from the videos of the trip and pictures from this journey. This is the beginning of many more adventure in my life that I look forward to. Sometimes, you’re your worst critic and barrier to growth…I’m enjoying and learning how to remind myself that every day. Enjoy the pictures and if you get the chance…do something to absorb the world around you new adventure opportunities are awaiting every day.
I embarked on my journey that afternoon on public transportation knowing it would be nearly impossible to drive or Uber to the heart of the city without being gridlocked in traffic. I had no idea, until checking twitter that all busses and trains to downtown had been stopped due to the protest. I was prepared to be told “this was the last stop”, and the more I looked around, noticed the number of protesters walking outside and joining me on the RTD adventure to the capitol. This clue signaled me that I was on the right track.
As the last stop met all of us, on the “0” bus at 9th & Lincoln (a few stops short), I could tell already the energy of downtown felt different. It didn’t matter which side you were on it definitely felt good knowing THIS many people were coming together as one.
The afternoon protests were quite calm and peaceful…and of course the yelling of those that spoke their mind and political beliefs. It started in front of the state capitol near Colfax and began taking the streets. The chanting and sign holding protesters marched the downtown streets as drivers honked and shouted words of support.
I joined the march for a couple hours due to my phone battery dying and to recharge myself as well. As the night came, I headed back downtown as I heard the protest was still active. Once I came upon the protest I right away knew the good vibe had left the streets. There was a heavy police presence with more tactical equipment and I immediately was hit by the smell of tear gas, which is no joke and did a number on me.
There were more exchanges between the police and protesters which escalated as both sides were being more aggressive. I overheard an officer say they were just trying to clear the streets and void protesters taking over the interstate. I stayed back from the front lines, for my safety, so I can only show what I saw and what I documented in the pics and vids below. The country is in an odd place in history right now and it was a hopeful sight seeing people come together. Either side of the political fence you claim we have the right to raise our voices, and at least in the afternoon hours of Saturday, that message was shouted. For more of the videos and pics follow me on TikTok and instagram at @ Newdrivehomejoe
As I’m writing this I’m on the train to downtown Denver to attend the protests on the capitol, as a spectator. I’ve been following the protest story a bit more recently following the protests in Los Angeles last week. I can feel the movement beginning tracking and it appears to be a mark in our country’s history; whether it be minor or major, I feel it’s important to remember and document what is transpiring. I will update as the day/event continues. Below is a video/poem about the protests from Los Angeles last weekend. Stay safe and immerse yourself into the world around you.
Yesterday was the 60 day mark in my recovery journey. I stared at this blank screen for hours before I started writing. I knew I had something to say, but for the first time in a long time, I had no idea how to express everything I had to say without seeming chaotic. But, that’s how I work best.
I always ran down memory lane, but it wasn’t until I entered treatment that I could stop and understand what was AND has happened. I’ve thought deep about the fact that I’ve been in this same cycle of use/drinking over the past two decades. As I got older and the problem became more than a small issue in the back of my head I got better at hiding what was happening daily. This addiction became a part of my life and even in my happiest and proud moments I needed to augment. I think about the shooters in the bathroom at my place of work, or waking up with a 6 shot cocktail to even function; and at the beginning of this journey…I felt disgusted with myself. How could I let this happen to me? Don’t I know better?
Those questions continue to enter my thought process but I understand and ACCEPT that I cannot change those times; but embrace who I’ve become because of the dark times. I am still early in the recovery journey and still have a lot of learning to do; yet I’ve progressed to a new stage of trusting myself, my process, and confidence. I’ve already seen the upside of things (back to writing & playing live shows (Video below)), so I’m excited to pick up where I was before things got out of control.
I know I have so much more to work through and as I invite these changes in my life it’s becoming easier to see the root of the unexplainable issues. It feels like I’ve always had the answer of what I needed to do…but like with many things in life, it doesn’t matter; especially if the problem still exists. If there’s no map with detailed instructions on how to work to the solution in everyday life, you get lost. It’s now becoming the way I deal with things each and every day. If there is anyone out there reading that are dealing with addiction problems…don’t doubt that help can actually do good.
Looking back to previous relationships I can see why they burned down in cinematic fashion. Being able to now pause and own emotions and thoughts are a tool I didn’t realize I hadn’t mastered. During active addiction I wasn’t me I was wrong a lot…in relationships, life, and my world; but I can’t know what I don’t know. Make sense?
This is part one of a series I’m writing trying to get deeper into everything that’s transpired. If anyone wants to reach out, share, or talk about this topic…I’m an email away. Take care and I’ll see y’all on the next one.
Here’s a video of me performing at the “Free Recovery Church” for the first time…SOBER since I first began making music nearly 20 years ago. I was naturally nervous and enjoyed a natural high afterwards.
This was all a dream
Frozen in time like Noah & Allie
I have a proper cut and suit
You wear that dress
Matching your emerald eyes
Billie Holiday on the radio
Storms build in the distance
Your touch is heaven
Your smell is divine
Radio alert says war is soon
I grasp to you harder
And close my eyes
My alarm clock repeats
Obre los ojos
Open your eyes
Another dream…
Look to yourself and the blue shallow ocean
That’s quickly consuming the plain dry land
The blood red sun is setting for the final dawn
Are you happy watching the end of time?
And the dead will cover and consume
The earth like a George Romero movie
It’s coming, the end…
of the end.
You can’t fake you way back to live anymore
The black dawn comes
And the dark clouds fill the sky
And comely fire consumes the horizon
Don’t let the beauty deceive you
The dawn of the end is here.
Today I was reminded how unpredictable the state of world is in the world we now live in. On a calm Sunday, in the peaceful and affluent city of Boulder there was a terror attack during a “Run For Their Lives” walk/run. I was present during this time and it felt bittersweet in the shadow of the beautiful Flatirons here in Boulder County.
As I settle and find peace in the changes currently taking place in my life I was shown how hastily everything could change in a moment, without warning. Unfortunately, I’m finding being naturally aware of the world around me and being vigilant is now something we all need to take heed of.
I won’t turn this entry into something political but I will say no matter what side you’re on in any issue political or otherwise, we need to remind ourselves, there is a human behind the stance they belief in. Attacks like this don’t benefit anyone…let’s all take care of each other. Stay safe.
Newdrivehome 