“Trust Me”

Newdrivehome Blog # 61

(My Chemical Romance – I’m not okay)

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So, although I’ve been reluctant to admit…my life has been on pause. For whoever is reading this, that simply means I’m not failing…or winning enough to feel anything is a win or loss. I’m stuck where I am currently. After the move back home and the breaking of my engagement, with someone I truly loved; learning myself and figuring how to be moderately center, is FUCKING confusing. 

I feel I’m more on the spiral track on a train that will not derail…because I have control, even if that control is a facade at times. Although it feels devastation, missing what it was with her back in Denver…feeling I failed after another college dropout and still unsure what I’m doing in life…I make the best of it.

Whether it be at my job…taking half of a saturday with a co-worker that actually make it enjoyable to pick up trash from the premise (even if you almost passed out lol), or taking the time to enjoy the beautiful of the night sky and the stars, planes, and satellites that fill the sky while on a walk with my dog. Or how a feeling a song gives me and changes my entire vibe. And how the understanding that not EVERYTHING needs an answer right now helps me get a grip of the chaos of daily life. Find those moments.

Life, or my life recently are about those moments. There’s laughter and smiles in every minute of the day…I always felt I fully absorbed those times but now I understand them. I’m now figuring out how to act accordingly.

Oh yeah…also, this is a music-ish blog, so I’m an elder emo and this above song always put me in a hopefully dark mood, I connected instantly when it first came out. If you know, you know