“I know you’re trying…”

Newdrivehome Blog # 58

(Sky Ferreira – Everything is Embarrassing)

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It’s a strange, eerie, and emotional feeling when you know its all ending. Although, it seems VERY over the top to say that…but the ending I’m speaking about is my lost, emotionally, quiet crash away from my addiction to alcohol. Although those close to me have witnessed this…I’ve been exhausted trying to mask its effects on anyone else around. 

Feeling like a secret agent hiding my real identity away from anyone…and I don’t want to do it anymore. So instead of finding a better way to live with it…I’ve decided to kick it from my life, thanks to doctors advice…and support, its time. 

In this battle I’ve never felt more alone and overwhelmed in this battle. My hope is others reading this blog will connect and understand this battle and know they aren’t alone. Because you aren’t…I feel I am, but in reality I’m not and you aren’t either. It’s step one and as long as I continue writing and SOMEONE out there is reading…I think I’ll be alright. Keep your positive thoughts to me and I’ll do the same! I chose this song for this blog because I feel like “everything is embarrassing” when it comes to becoming sober and figuring yourself out…yeah, does that make sense?? And as Sky says in the song, “I know you’re trying…”