Newdrivehome Blog # 57
(Ben Folds Five – Brick)
I’m currently writing…back home back in Nebraska, (I had to move back), just getting home from work…and absolutely miserable. I’ve avoided having to speak/repeat any of these things that happened over the past couple months…purposely. And for whatever reason I am doing this on this blog, over the internet…for a bunch of strangers. (Call it group therapy?). I cant decide if the emotions or WHERE to start is what has been keeping me from writing this…clearly its both.
Prior to the start of this summer, by pure luck I met someone (a friend) at my work in Denver (Westminster), that for whatever reason…wanted me to join her at a party downtown a week later. So I obliged and while there I ran into her sister’s friend, someone else (whose name I can’t write here). She was going to CU Denver and absolutely beautiful and wonderful…personality full of sarcastic nonsense and random wit. It mirrored myself in the companion way that just felt…right. I initially felt she was out of my league and the more I engaged in the out of this world conversations with her…I didn’t want to leave without knowing I would have the opportunity to speak with her again. She felt the same way.
Over the next weeks, although I was working and barely surviving the Denver economy…while she was at college, she kept me around. So I would travel via public transport (secretly) after work to see her and honestly I fell in love with her…and she fell in love with me. My nonsense didn’t bother her and her nonsense, made me more attracted. The dream ended prematurely though…when we found out in July that she was pregnant and although we both wanted to KEEP our lil secret (they even had a name!)…her father found out and everything changed…he threatened to stop paying her apartment and tuition for college if we kept our lil human…so the decision was made to terminate. It hurt me AND her, it felt like a part of me died since I had no say about the matter…and I am still fucked up about it. I think “Brick” is the perfect song fit, based on the content and vibe alone…I spent many nights alone & crying about everything over this summer; but, you know where to find/contact me “E”. Im still here…
Although I was broken, am still broken and have been struggling alone since you and your fam left for a 6 week trip, days after our “appointment”…I miss you. Maybe it was meant to be a temporary thing? But at the end of the day…life was hell right after you left and I know you feel the same…so ill swallow my pride and say…I’m always here for you “E”…whenever you need to talk. I understand both sides but it still wrecks me every day…and its not your fault, promise.
If anyone reading this can connect, share, email, or comment below…that’d be rad…I don’t think I’m the only one that’s been through this type of situation…
Newdrivehome 
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